Ennui

2 03 2010

My week has not gone well. So far, I have:

– Forgotten to turn in a mildly important paper on time because I was late to class. AGAIN. My fault, I know, but it’s irritating me that I am having trouble with being on time. Normally punctuality is something that is vitally important to me; the fact that classes aren’t uppermost in my mind right now is telling me senioritis has set in badly.

– Spent $10 on a deliciously-scented candle which, when lit, only scents the air for about an inch around the flame. Useless. Bath & Body Works, I used to love you, but your candles suck.

–  Been irrationally jealous upon discovering that a boy I hooked up with a few times this summer is dating a girl. I don’t have feelings for him- he’s not especially good in bed and is a year younger than me, although he is cute. So why do I get pissed off when he moves on? It’s not like I ever encouraged him in any way; in fact, probably the opposite. But now I catch myself giving him come-hither looks in the hallways and plotting to steal him. (I know. I am going to hell.) I have these horrible patterns with guys and I hate it. Dysfunction is my first, middle and last name, apparently.

– Felt generally awful. I have been fairly busy, but it’s just been one of those weeks when I sit and try not to cry because I am thinking about random things and making myself sad. I seem to go through cycles- happy and optimistic, then a week or two of plummeting grumpiness, bittersweet reminiscence and anger. Slamming someone’s head into a locker never sounded so good. I find myself cussing more, as well. Teenage hormones are terrible, terrible things.

– Yelled and snapped at many, many people who in all likelihood didn’t deserve my vitriol. God, I sound like a freaking prize, don’t I?

So, I am playing doctor (not accredited, but still better than Dr. Phil) and prescribing myself sunshine, assuming the blasted atmosphere cooperates, quality pet time, sweet tea, some good upbeat music (Train, anyone?), delicious incense, cleaning, and writing (simply by putting this down, I feel a bit better). Anyone feel like sharing their happy-jumpstart techniques?





Made With Love

14 05 2009

 

So a good friend of mine is going through some rough family issues right now, and although she’s the type to put a smile on her face at all times, it’s obvious she’s very sad. It’s not her birthday, but two other friends and I snuck away during school today and baked her a cake. It’s not a holiday or special occasion cake, it’s just a cheap box-mix feel-better we-love-ya cake. She was so incredibly happy and touched when we gave it to her, notwithstanding our shameful icing job.

 My point is, sometimes ridiculously cheesy, small or silly things can mean a great deal to a person. If someone in your life is having a difficult time, why not do something to brighten their day?