It’s Rainin’ Men

27 05 2009


Following in the great footsteps of Doe Deere, Coilhouse, and others, I’m posting a list of the sexiest eye candy out there. Just so you’re prepared, this is being judged strictly on looks, by a hormonal teenage girl. It’s like one of those cheesy pin-up calendars except with a Y chromosome.

*ahem* Now here, in no particular order, are the wiiiiinnners:

Gives cannibalism a whole new meaning....

I first saw Gaspard Ulliel, a French actor, playing Hannibal Lector in ‘Hannibal Rising.’ He somehow manages to be incredibly delicious even while eating someone’s cheeks… His boyish smile is deadly mixed with his sleepy eyes… And the suspenders? Yes please!


Sexpot... villain... who can tell?

Zach Quinto has starred in numerous sitcoms. He’s currently the incredibly hot villain Sylar on NBC’s show Heroes, and is slated to play Spock! Nerd points… check. Smouldering stare off into the distance… check. Just look at those magnificent eyebrows.

A sculpted god.

Michael Phelps… well, duh. From the Olympics? He’s been caught letting out a little more of his wild side… grabbing strippers, smoking weed… which I have to say, although I doubt he’s a true badass, it’s nice to see him letting loose a little. He’s got an incredible body, a cute crooked smile, and loves his mama! The dedication to his sport/passion is totally hot but honestly? Mostly I dream about his abs…

Comedian Andy Samberg (a Leo like me! Natch!) boasts the winning trio of an an adorably mischievous smirk, puppydog eyes, and the kind of messy bedhead hair I love best. You know, the kind that looks really soft. A sense of humor is always nice too, yet it’s his boy-next-door-but-better looks that I can’t ignore.

Oooh, a redhead. Nothing gets me as tingly as a redhead; I’m not sure, but I think this fetish dates back to my stint at a 6th grade church camp, where a cute redheaded boy and I snuck off behind the games shed for 10 really awesome minutes… But I digress. Just look into snowboarder Shaun White’s hazel eyes and bask in the glow of that Titian hair.

Oooh, Axl Rose…. a potent combination of raw talent, a gritty wildcat voice, uninhibited slithery dance moves, and total rock star status. Just go listen to his primal scream at the beginning of “Welcome to the Jungle’ and tell me you’re not all hot and bothered…

Everybody knows Vin Diesel, right? I like him best as an insouciant racer in the Fast and Furious movies, but god damn, he heats up every movie he’s in.

William Beckett from the Academy Is… is just gorgeous. He’s got that cute skinny boy thing goin’ on, totally cut amazing cheekbones, a glorious voice and a wry sense of humor (he appeared as a dandified vampire in a all Out Boy Music Video). Just gaze and admire his beautiful face…

Tyson Ritter from the All American Rejects is simply, well, hot as hell. I’ll leave it at that….