Ennui

2 03 2010

My week has not gone well. So far, I have:

– Forgotten to turn in a mildly important paper on time because I was late to class. AGAIN. My fault, I know, but it’s irritating me that I am having trouble with being on time. Normally punctuality is something that is vitally important to me; the fact that classes aren’t uppermost in my mind right now is telling me senioritis has set in badly.

– Spent $10 on a deliciously-scented candle which, when lit, only scents the air for about an inch around the flame. Useless. Bath & Body Works, I used to love you, but your candles suck.

–  Been irrationally jealous upon discovering that a boy I hooked up with a few times this summer is dating a girl. I don’t have feelings for him- he’s not especially good in bed and is a year younger than me, although he is cute. So why do I get pissed off when he moves on? It’s not like I ever encouraged him in any way; in fact, probably the opposite. But now I catch myself giving him come-hither looks in the hallways and plotting to steal him. (I know. I am going to hell.) I have these horrible patterns with guys and I hate it. Dysfunction is my first, middle and last name, apparently.

– Felt generally awful. I have been fairly busy, but it’s just been one of those weeks when I sit and try not to cry because I am thinking about random things and making myself sad. I seem to go through cycles- happy and optimistic, then a week or two of plummeting grumpiness, bittersweet reminiscence and anger. Slamming someone’s head into a locker never sounded so good. I find myself cussing more, as well. Teenage hormones are terrible, terrible things.

– Yelled and snapped at many, many people who in all likelihood didn’t deserve my vitriol. God, I sound like a freaking prize, don’t I?

So, I am playing doctor (not accredited, but still better than Dr. Phil) and prescribing myself sunshine, assuming the blasted atmosphere cooperates, quality pet time, sweet tea, some good upbeat music (Train, anyone?), delicious incense, cleaning, and writing (simply by putting this down, I feel a bit better). Anyone feel like sharing their happy-jumpstart techniques?

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2 responses

8 03 2010
Katie

Aww darlin’! Sometimes you just have those weeks where nothing goes your way 😦 THIS WEEK WILL BE BETTER x

21 03 2010
dollyasylum

Aww, that’s no good! I will second Katie and say that the next week will be better!
When I’ve had a crappy week, or day, I like to grab a selection of comedy dvd’s, some chocolate (or other unhealthy snacks) and completely slob around until the storm blows over. Either that, or just be around things which inspire you, whether it be some amazing books, or a trip to an art gallery, or just a walk in a beautiful park. Or write something- something angry, in which you can carry out all your violent fantasies freely without getting arrested 😀 That probably sounds a bit psycho, but can be very therapeutic!
And don’t worry about the ex. You’re not a weirdo for feeling that way. We’ve all been there! It’s natural.I will feel a bit weird when my ex finds someone new, even though I don’t want to be with him myself. I don’t know why, but I think we are all a bit like that when it comes to ex’s!
To a happier week this time anyway!

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